You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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