bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
