4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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