I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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