told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
