I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
