yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
