Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
