so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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