my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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