I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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