I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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