hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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