ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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