Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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