after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
