I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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