If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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