D3 body, D1 cock
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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