i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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