the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
