Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
