Farmville is her only friend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
