I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
