Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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