yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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