STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
