Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize