Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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