PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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