Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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