please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
