Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
