god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
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I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
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You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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