I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just had sex bonerless
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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