We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.