In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.