i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.