Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.