I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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