Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
