OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
