What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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