you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
