I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize