they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
