You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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