My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
