turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
