Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
