The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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