Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's blow job season.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
