I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
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Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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