I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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