I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
