I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
