im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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