smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
