Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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