16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
