Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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