when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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