I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
last night I used snow as a chaser
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
