you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
