New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
