There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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