Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
