shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
