ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
