This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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