Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
